Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize