Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
