I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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