Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize