Are we in a gay sports bar?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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