Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
