There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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