Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
