3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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