its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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