If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
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I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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