so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
