I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
