I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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