You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
