What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
