Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
