im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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