another moral hangover. fuck.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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