dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
