idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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