I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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