I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
