Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
