I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
