why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
