it wasn't lemon gatorade
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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