So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sober January is a disaster.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
