She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
