i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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