question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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