Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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