This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
