I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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