..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
