So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
