Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
