every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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