there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
