piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
