Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
