I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Randomize
