I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
