Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
