Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
