He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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