dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
