probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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