I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
