no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
