You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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