I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
