How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
