Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

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(314): I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter... http://tfl.nu/166t

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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(201): i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around http://tfl.nu/2geo

Replies (23) Good night (1632) Bad night (2924)
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(516): View more from New York

How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

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(516): How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction" http://tfl.nu/s1bm

Replies (16) Good night (899) Bad night (5009)
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(818): View more from California

Finally jerked of with a banana peel.

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(818): Finally jerked of with a banana peel. http://tfl.nu/gj9m

Replies (27) Good night (1558) Bad night (4649)
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(905): View more from Ontario

heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain

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(905): heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain http://tfl.nu/cvqd

Replies (24) Good night (1251) Bad night (3666)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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(519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3

Replies (21) Good night (5811) Bad night (1262)
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(707): View more from California

Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....

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(707): Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me..... http://tfl.nu/ajao

Replies (11) Good night (3456) Bad night (1358)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.

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(774): i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub. http://tfl.nu/0yor

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(209): View more from California

We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

(1-209): View more from California

Duh.

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(209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv

Replies (5) Good night (2156) Bad night (655)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?

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(919): Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you? http://tfl.nu/64mv

Replies (7) Good night (2652) Bad night (647)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

what about money

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

no - he has a code he lives by

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(610): they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n (484): what about money (610): no - he has a code he lives by http://tfl.nu/tp7q

Replies (11) Good night (2609) Bad night (767)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building

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(586): Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building http://tfl.nu/p9dh

Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (574)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.

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(757): you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR. http://tfl.nu/zp8x

Replies (8) Good night (1909) Bad night (533)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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(303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe

Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (501)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.

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(843): I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea. http://tfl.nu/jdvw

Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (599)

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