Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

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  (248): In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer http://tfl.nu/p97m
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (1125)
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  (516): View more from New York

  check it out our google latitudes are spooning

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  (516): check it out our google latitudes are spooning http://tfl.nu/t63m
  Replies (5) Good night (1052) Bad night (553)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"

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  (727): If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was" http://tfl.nu/9too
  Replies (36) Good night (651) Bad night (4330)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.

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  (609): the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real. http://tfl.nu/krsx
  Replies (39) Good night (836) Bad night (5357)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.

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  (717): Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall. http://tfl.nu/weml
  Replies (24) Good night (6020) Bad night (646)
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  (714): View more from California

  You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"

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  (714): You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo" http://tfl.nu/an5c
  Replies (9) Good night (1402) Bad night (4139)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm

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  (516): My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm http://tfl.nu/6xao
  Replies (9) Good night (2873) Bad night (868)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?

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  (330): not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up? http://tfl.nu/smja
  Replies (6) Good night (1194) Bad night (3037)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon

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  (603): Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon http://tfl.nu/opxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (774)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.

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  (518): Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke. http://tfl.nu/lmdn
  Replies (8) Good night (1428) Bad night (1332)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.

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  (214): They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday. http://tfl.nu/u6e3
  Replies (6) Good night (1196) Bad night (644)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight

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  (775): He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight http://tfl.nu/2xsm
  Replies (6) Good night (1372) Bad night (801)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.

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  (503): And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/m69e
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (374)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.

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  (832): Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead. http://tfl.nu/yr8v
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (400)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.

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  (412): Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats. http://tfl.nu/9v9s
  Replies (3) Good night (371) Bad night (480)

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