I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dating After Heartbreak
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.