It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize