Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present