I puked a lego.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.