One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED