"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks