Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool