I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO