Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"

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  (920): She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets" http://tfl.nu/73nd
  Replies (27) Good night (863) Bad night (3281) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

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  (248): Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up. http://tfl.nu/qfvl
  Replies (16) Good night (739) Bad night (1629)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.

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  (567): you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often. http://tfl.nu/8to5
  Replies (6) Good night (3135) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.

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  (650): i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text. http://tfl.nu/726d
  Replies (44) Good night (1144) Bad night (3843) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

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  (215): Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire. http://tfl.nu/xwgk
  Replies (43) Good night (6688) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.

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  (612): Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing. http://tfl.nu/z54y
  Replies (15) Good night (635) Bad night (6760) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...

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  (859): This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk... http://tfl.nu/39pj
  Replies (8) Good night (1558) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.

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  (330): I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come. http://tfl.nu/lijh
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.

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  (610): its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate. http://tfl.nu/xmo4
  Replies (5) Good night (1542) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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  (803): Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now. http://tfl.nu/z1h4
  Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.

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  (201): Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/7gqm
  Replies (18) Good night (1129) Bad night (385)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.

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  (985): Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers. (504): This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot. http://tfl.nu/gotr
  Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (250)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?

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  (218): Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober? http://tfl.nu/gl6q
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (204) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.

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  (781): We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/atoq
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal

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  (201): It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal http://tfl.nu/8mo5
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt

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