this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.