Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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