he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."