I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
