its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
