and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i now understand why vodka
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
