me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
