Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize