woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
